Doughgirl

Cookie Dough . .Raw cookie dough. Cold, sweet, sticky, sitting like a blob in my stomach, cookie dough. A little raw ball of my doughy childhood.

You see, i have had a love affair with cookie dough since i was old enough to peep over the kitchen counter. My mom, who bakes desserts in the best way imaginable, would tell me stories of how she would get in trouble by the nuns in Catholic school, for licking the bowl. Well i kinda have always looked up to my mom, and from that story on, i guess i decided to follow in her bowl licking steps. And so my affair began. I would stalk the cookie dough from the dining room table, watching my mom get out the flour, next, the whizz of the blender, then i would say to myself, "she'll be adding the chocolate chips anytime now." And then, off i went dashing into the kitchen, grabbing a spoon, or better yet rolling up my sleeves to dive into the fresh batch before all were rolled up and sent off to the mean oven. I didn't like the oven, it changed the dough. I have never been able to put my finger on it, but in the raw, something about that substance that no oven could ever recreate. Its as if the dough was perfect on its own. "Why do we ever have to make it into a cookie anyway," I would ask my mother. The only good answer she ever came up with had something to do with, "consuming raw eggs is hazardous . .blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

Well, I am living proof to to the rest of the world: raw cookie dough never hurt anyone! Well let me take a step back. Ah yes, my stomach reminds me of the fullness i have experienced after a few too many snatches of dough from my mothers' kitchen. Or the time my best friend from high school and I took a package of cookie dough in the car as we drove up and down the neighborhood streets looking at Christmas lights. Stuffing our faces in between the Ho Ho Ho's. Ah yes, now i remember that feeling of being a human doughgirl, but honestly besides a little discomfort, has anyone ever died from it?

Just recently i discovered something in the grocery store that i have been waiting to see for years. A pre-made, lovely package of natural cookie dough, and printed in small font on the side, i smiled as i read, " eating raw cookie dough doesn't make you sick." Finally! At last! Like-minded cookie dough enthusiasts who have come to save the day! Spreading the news to all hungry girls like me! But where were they all those cold winter nights trying to convince my mom that just another spoonful wouldn't put me over the edge?

I have thought about sending my mother a package in the mail. It would most certainly contain that cookie dough.

My love of cookie dough has followed me into my relationships with men, and most recently has shown me that i really do worship it. This became apparent one night, when i had a craving for cookie dough, but not just any cookie dough, the kind swirled in ice cream. Surprisingly though, when i crave cookie dough ice cream, i do a damn good job of making sure i pick out just the dough, and only the dough. There is something about that wet, just been immersed in cream dough that i love. Unfortunately, for my boyfriend, this means his stomach will be getting an entire gallon of plain vanilla ice cream. But seriously, what's a girl to do? Someone has to eat the vanilla ice cream that is plainly getting in the way of my the cookie dough! And that . .i have decided is true love. Girls, you know you have found, "the one," when between the both of you , an entire gallon of cookie dough ice cream is consumed, and you got to eat the best part: the raw dough. Yep, he's a keeper.

Even to this day, on one of the weekends i head back home to visit my parents, i can always be sure of two things. That my mom will make me my choice of cookie dough before heading back on the long, boring drive to Seattle. And that with each trip, she lets me sneak a little more dough than before. Maybe its a sign of maturity. Like she is silently saying, " I trust you. Eat all the dough you want, because by the time you make it home to Seattle, I'll be too far away to do anything about your bellyache. "But honestly i think that's what it is all about. The dough, sitting in my belly; my mother's love from afar.